Vampires, Conservation and Sir David

Thylacinus cynocephalus AKA Tasmanian Tiger; 1904 National Zoo, DC

Thylacinus cynocephalus AKA Tasmanian Tiger; 1904 National Zoo, DC

You might wonder why anyone would support the conservation of a creature as frightening and dangerous as a vampire. You might wonder why any monster would be put on the endangered species list and what kind of masochistic, bleeding-heart bizarro would even consider such a thing (other than the creature itself). Well, as one of those bizarros, I’ll explain.

Recently, on a Reddit Q & A with Sir David Attenborough (upon whom the Gods should seriously bestow many more years incarnated on this planet so that he might continue to grace us with his elegance and wisdom), he was asked if he thought planet Earth was on the verge of another mass extinction. His reply was blood-chilling:

“Yes, I’m afraid we are,” he wrote. “It’s not possible to reverse the damage we’ve done. We are undoubtedly exterminating species at a speed which has never been known before.”

Note that he says, “. . . we’ve done, and We are . . .” (Sir David wins any argument by default because he is the epic hero who calmly stood atop the mountain of bat guano, calf-deep in crawling cockroaches, centipedes and other creepies in order to bring us knowledge.)

Sir David poses with Amorphophallus titanium AKA Corpse Flower (largest flower on Earth)

Sir David poses with Amorphophallus titanium AKA Corpse Flower (largest flower on Earth)

“But Vampires are myth,” some of you say.

“Oh, really?” other’s might reply.

But here’s something to consider: the Thylacine. Thylacinus cynocephalus, also known as the Tasmanian tiger, the last one of which died in Hobart Zoo the night of September 7th, 1936. This amazing, remarkable beast, which had been around for four million years, was wiped out in a matter of just a few centuries. Its extinction may be placed squarely on the shoulders of ‘Man’, who did it on purpose.

Today, there are American Facebook pages and websites created by and for psycho- and sociopaths who genuinely and gleefully wish for and participate in the extinction of wolves. Even people of the stoutest demeanor will find these sites hard to examine. The savagery seen in the photos and postings is worse than that of the animals they wish to exterminate. And why? Why this astounding ignorance, hatred and belief that they have the right to undo the work of the Universe, or God(s) or whatever is responsible for the long, fantastic existence of such creatures—especially against the will the rest of us.

We desperately don’t want wolves to become creatures of myth like the Thylacine.

So what other supposed ‘monsters’ are candidates for man’s extermination list? Sharks of many species, starting with the Great White, Tiger, Bull, etc; great cats like the Tiger, Cougar, Lion; Bears, like the Grizzly and Polar (unfortunately the white bears’ days are numbered no matter what).

I have watched people attack and kill a Black Rat Snake (harmless, except to rats, which is necessary, right?) as if their very lives and that of all humanity depended on this execution. The snake was merely sunning itself, no nefarious plan in its innocent, tiny brain.

People emit cringe-worthy shrieks at the sight of a tiny spider, 1000’s of times smaller than we naked apes. Its death is all the human can envisage, even though that spider is ridding the house of pests and doesn’t think one iota about the gigantic, lumbering, inedible thing that is ‘man’.

“Oooh, but what if it’s venomous?!” the fearful lunatics whine. Well, so what? Maybe it is—doubtful though. But since the information is easily available, why not CHECK, rather than snuff out a life. If you find them unsightly, easy enough to use a glass and a piece of paper and move the arachnid outside.

Yet there are those who would blindly eradicate every last one of the creatures in each genus these beasties belong to. Fear turns man into the greatest monster the planet has ever been host to.

If a man murders a man, should the entire human race die for it? Is man so lofty—is he the God of Earth that may pick and choose what lives and what dies. If any answer yes, they are quite the fool; much like one who pulls at a thread on his pants and suddenly cannot stop the unravelling. The more pieces you remove, the greater the chance the system will fail. Unfortunately, too much of common man isn’t aware of ‘the system’.

“So how do vampires come into it”, you’re asking. Vampires come into it because they are the myth that represents the deepest primal fear—like that which some experience at the sight of a spider or snake. Kill or be killed.

In the case of the belly-to-the-ground types, that fear is almost always unfounded—in an individual tale of a vampire though, perhaps not so much. But if you were to imagine a world populated with multiple species of blood-drinkers, knowing that their plan was NOT to wipe out the human race, and that their numbers were miniscule compared to the human population (much like the wolf), couldn’t you perhaps muster just the tiniest bit of compassion. After all, it is the god within the human mind that created them, and isn’t that every bit as genuinely awesome (note correct word usage) as that which created the magnificent, but extinct Thylacine?

You can check out the prep for camera work on that ‘Plant Earth’ scene here – Warning to the squeamish!

Iucundissima somnia,



  1. I have compassion for vampires. What action would I take to prevent their extinction?

  2. Maggie Lynch says:

    Dea, I’ve known you for a long time. This is a superb rant. I love both you and Sir David Attenborough. Your logic is unfaltering. Very true; myth or reality our attitudes towards creatures great and small is a very misguided. The spider is fair to annihilate because of fear? Whether a creature is small and cuddly or big and scary, it’s still a sentient being. We would all do well to take a chapter from my favorite character and live by the Prime Objective.

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